THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 

GIFT  OF 


Kate  Gordon  Moore 


ERNEST   RENAN 
i  From  a  painting  by  Henri  Schaffer,  r86o). 


MY 


Sister  Henrietta 


BY 


Ernest  Renan 


?rn:i5ln!fi   from   ff\»    French 

by  Leonora  Teller 


CHICAGO 
E.  A.  WEEKS  &  COMPANY 

521-631  WABASH  AVE. 


Copyright  by 

E.  A.  WEEKS  &  COMPANY 

1895 


CT 

1013 

EDITOR'S   PREFACE. 

This  little  book  is  the  textual  re- 
print of  a  small  work  of  which  Ernest 
Renan  had  one  hundred  copies  printed 
and  issued  in  September.  1862,  under 
the  following  title, "  Henrietta  Renan, 
a  souvenir  for  those  who  have  known 
her." 

We  find  also  the  words,  These 
pages  are  not  for  the  public  eye,  and 

shall  not  be  for  sale." 

In  1883,  in  his  "  Recollections  of 
Childhood  and  Youth,"  Ernest  Renan 
expresses  himself  thus  in  the  preface: 
"  The  person  who  has  had  the  great- 
est influence  over  my  life,  my  sister 
Henrietta,  has  no  place  in  this  work. 
In  September,  1862,  the  year  after 
the   death  of  this   precious  friend,    I 


871214 


PREFACE. 

wrote  for  the  few  who  had  known  her 
the  little  work  consecrated  to  her 
memory.  There  have  been  but  a 
hundred  copies  issued.  My  sister 
was  so  modest,  she  had  so  much  aver- 
sion to  the  noisy  world  that  I  should 
have  expected  her  to  arise  from  her 
tomb  to  reproach  me  if  I  had  given 
these  pages  to  the  public.  At  times 
I  thought  of  appending  them  to  this 
volume,  then  again  it  seemed  to  me 
that  it  would  be  a  kind  of  profanation. 
The  souvenir  of  my  sister  has  been 
read  sympathetically  by  those  who 
felt  kindly  toward  her  and  toward 
me.  I  ought  not  to  expose  the  mem- 
ory which  is  holy  to  me  to  the  super- 
cilious comments  of  those  who  think 
when  they  buy  a  book  that  they  have 
the  right   to    criticise   it.      I    thought 


PREFACE. 

that  by  inserting  these  pages  about 
my  sister,  in  a  volume  to  be  put  upon 
the  market,  I  should  be  as  culpable  as 
if  I  exposed  her  portrait  in  a  common 
shop.  This  work,  therefore,  shall 
not  be  re-issued  until  after  my  death. 
Perhaps  then  may  be  added  some 
letters  of  my  dear  one,  which  I  myself 
will  select." 

Finally,  in  a  codicil  to  his  will, 
dated  November  4th,  1888,  Ernest 
Renan  authorized  the  present  edition, 
saying,  "My  wife  will  regulate  the 
manner  in  winch  my  little  volume  of 
souvenirs  of  my  sister  Henrietta  shall 
be  given  to  the  public."  The  present 
edition,  therefore,  is  prepared  by 
Madame  Cornelia  Renan.  A  selec- 
tion of  Henrietta  Renan's  letters  was 
not  made  by  her  brother.  These  letters 


PREFACE. 

cannot,  owing  to  their  number,  find 
a  place  in  this  publication,  and  will  be 
given  in  a  special  edition  of  their 
own. 


HENRIETTA    RENAN 
(From  a  photograph  l. 


PREFACE  TO   FIRST   EDITION. 
By  Eniest  Renan. 
MY  SISTER  HENRIETTA. 
The  memory  of    man    leaves  but  a 
trace — a   mark  on   the  bosom   of  the 
Infinite.      Still  it  is  not  altogether    a 
vain    thing.     The  conscience   of    hu- 
manity is  the   only  thing  we  have  by 
which  to  judge  of  the    universal   con- 
science.     The  right  estimate  of  man's 
character   is  a  part  of    Absolute  Jus- 
tice.   So,  although  noble  lives  need  no 
other  remembrance  than    God's,  still 
one    wishes    to    recollect    them.       I 
should  be  the   more  guilty  if  I    neg- 
lected this  last  duty  to  my  sister  Hen- 
rietta,    because     I     alone    knew    the 
worth    of    that    vanished    soul.      Her 
timidity,  her  reserve,  her  aversion  to 


PREFACE. 

all  publicity,  prevented  the  veil 
spread  over  her  rare  nature  from  be- 
ing lifted.  Her  life  was  but  a  succes- 
sion of  acts  of  devotion  destined  to 
remain  hidden.  I  will  not  betray  her 
secrets;  these  pages  are  not  for  the 
public  and  shall  not  be  given  to  it  by 
me;  but  the  privileged  few  to  whom 
she  revealed  herself  would  have  a 
right  to  reproach  me  if  I  neglected  to 
set  in  order  those  few  things  that 
could  complete  their  memories  of 
her. 


My  Sister  Henrietta. 
i. 

My  sister  Henrietta  was  born  at 
Treguier,  on  the  twenty-second  of 
July,  1811.  Her  life  was  early  sad- 
dened and  filled  with  austere  duties. 
She  never  knew  any  joys  other 
than  those  bestowed  by  virtue  and 
affection.  She  inherited  from  her 
father  a  melancholy  disposition  which 
gave  her  a  distaste  for  all  vulgar  dis- 
tractions, and  even  inspired  in  her  a 
certain  inclination  to  fly  from  the 
world  and  its  pleasures.  She  had 
nothing  of  the  genial,  gay,  spirituelle 
nature  that  my  mother  preserved,  even 
to  her  hale  old  age.  Her  religious 
sentiments,    at    first    narrowed   down 

into  the  formula  of  Catholicism,  were 

9 


IO  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

always  very  deep.  Treguier,  the  lit- 
tle town  where  we  were  born,  was 
an  old  Episcopal  city,  rich  in  poeti- 
cal impressions;  it  was  one  of  those 
grand  monastic  cities  founded  by  the 
Breton  immigrants  in  the  sixth  cen- 
tury, after  the  Gallic  and  Irish  fash- 
ion. A  certain  Abbe"  Tual,  or  Tug- 
dual,  was  its  father.  When  Trom£no£ 
in  the  ninth  century,  wishing  to  found 
a  Breton  nation,  transformed  into 
bishoprics  ail  those  grand  monaster- 
ies on  the  north  side,  Rabutual  or  the 
monastery  of  Saint  Tual,  was  of  the 
number.  In  the  sixteenth  and  seven- 
teenth centuries,  Treguier  became 
quite  an  ecclesiastical  center  and  the 
rendezvous  of  a  small  local  nobility. 
During  the  Revolution,  the  bishopric 
was  suppressed,  but  after  the  re-estab- 


kJj  I— ,-_rdJ- 

™    -     .   v  i  ■  •  1    9W     ,i 


irP 


««*.<*' 


HOUSE  IN  TREGUIER,  WHERE  ERNEST  RENAN 
WAS   BORN. 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  II 

lishment  of  the  Catholic  faith  the  vast 
buildings  which  the  town  possessed 
made  it  again  a  religious  center,  a 
town  of  convents  and  religious  estab- 
lishments. Bourgeois*  life  was  there 
very  little  developed.  All  the  streets, 
save  one  or  two,  are  long,  deserted 
alleys,  lined  by  high  convent  walls  or 
old  prebendal  houses  surrounded  by 
gardens.  A  general  air  of  distinction 
permeated  everything,  and  gave  this 
poor,  dead  city  a  charm  which  the 
common  towns  that  had  sprung  up 
throughout  the  country,  though  richer 
and  more  stirring,  did  not  possess. 

The  Cathedral  itself,  a  beautiful 
building  of  the  fourteenth  century, 
with  its  lofty  naves,  its  astonishing 
architectural  flights,  its  prodigiously 
tall  steeple  and  its  old  Roman  tower, 


12  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

the  remains  of  an  edifice  still  older, 
seemed  made  expressly  to  awaken 
the  noblest  thoughts.  In  the  even- 
ing, when  it  was  left  open  very  late 
for  the  prayers  of  the  pious,  lighted 
with  a  single  lamp,  and  with  the 
musty  odor  peculiar  to  old  churches, 
the  immense,  empty  structure  was 
full  of  the  awe  of  the  Infinite.  A 
quarter  of  a  league  distant  was  the 
chapel,  raised  nearly  on  the  birth- 
place of  the  good  advocate  St. 
Ives,  a  Breton  saint  of  old  times, 
who  had  become  in  the  popular  belief 
the  defender  of  the  feeble  and  the 
great  righter  of  wrongs.  Near  there, 
on  a  high  point,  stood  the  ruins  of 
the  old  church  of  St.  Michael,  de- 
stroyed by  lightning.  We  were  taken 
there    each  Thursday  before  Easter. 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  1 3 

The  legend  runs  that  on  that  day  all 
the  bells,  during  the  great  silence  im- 
posed upon  them,  go  to  Rome  for  the 
blessing  of  the  Pope.  To  see  them 
pass,  one  must  climb  up  the  hill  cov- 
ered with  ruins.  Closing  the  eyes, 
you  could  see  them  sweeping  through 
the  air,  softly  bending,  their  lace 
robes  which  they  wore  on  the  day  of 
baptism  floating  behind  them.  A 
little  farther  away  rose  the  little 
chapel  of  Cinq-Plais,  in  a  charming 
valley;  on  the  other  side  of  the  river, 
near  an  old  sacred  fountain,  stood  our 
Notre-Dame-du-Tromeur,  a  vener- 
ated resort  of  pilgrims. 

A  strong  inclination  toward  the  life 
of  a  recluse  was  the  result,  with  my 
sister,  of  a  childhood  passed  in  these 
poetic  and   melancholy  surroundings. 


14  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

Some  old    nuns,   turned  out   of   their 
convent     by    the     Revolution,     had 
opened  a  school,  and  they  taught  her 
to  read  and  recite  Latin  psalms.     She 
learned  by  heart  all   those  they  sang 
in  church,  and   she  learned  later  the 
old   texts,  which  she   translated   into 
French  and  Italian,  and  thus  acquired 
some   knowledge   of  Latin,  although 
she  never  regularly  studied  it.      Nev- 
ertheless,  her  education  would  have 
necessarily  remained  very  incomplete 
had  it  not  been  happily  fated  that  she 
should  have  a  teacher  superior  to  any 
that  had  been  in  the  place  up  to  that 
time.       Some    of    the    noble  families 
of  Tr^guier  had  returned  completely 
ruined  after  the  emigration.   A  daugh- 
ter of   one  of  these  families  who  had 
been  educated  in  England  began  to 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  15 

teach.  She  was  a  person  of  distin- 
guished taste  and  manners,  and  she 
made  a  profound  impression  on  my 
sister,  that  never  was  effaced. 

The  misfortunes  that  early  sur- 
rounded her  increased  her  natural 
tendency  to  concentration.  Our 
grandfather  on  the  paternal  side  be- 
longed to  a  race  of  sea-faring  peas- 
ants, who  inhabit  the  county  of 
Goelo.  He  had  accumulated  a  small 
fortune  by  means  of  his  boat,  and 
come  to  live  at  Tr^guier.  Our  father 
had  been  in  the  service  of  the  Republic. 
After  the  maritime  disasters  of  the 
times,  he  commanded  ships  on  his 
own  account,  and  allowed  himself  to 
be  drawn  little  by  little  into  a  large 
trade.  This  was  a  great  mistake. 
Completely  unused   to  business,  sim- 


1 6  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

pie-hearted,  incapable  of  all  calcula- 
tion, incessantly  hindered  by  that 
shyness  which  makes  a  sailor  a  real 
child  in  all  the  practical  affairs  of  life, 
he  saw  the  small  fortune  he  had  ac- 
cumulated drawn  slowly  into  a  bot- 
tomless gulf.  The  events  of  1815 
brought  on  a  series  of  calamities  that 
proved  fatal  to  him. 

His  sentimental,  rather  weak  nature 
was  not  proof  against  these  continued 
shocks.  He  withdrew,  little  by  little, 
from  the  enterprises  of  life.  My  sister 
endeavored,  hour  by  hour,  to  alleviate 
the  distress  brought  on  by  anxiety  in 
this  good,  generous  nature  forced  in- 
to an  employment  foreign  to  it.  She 
acquired  an  early  maturity  in  these 
hard  experiences;  from  the  age  of 
twelve  she  was  a  serious  little  body, 


SPIRE   OF   THE   TREC.riER   CATHEDRAI.. 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  17 

worn  out  with  care  and  weighed  down 
with  grave  thoughts  and  somber  pre- 
sentiments. 

On  his  return  from  one  of  his  long 
voyages  over  our  cold,  sad  seas  my 
father  felt  his  last  thrill  of  joy:  I  was 
born  in  February,  1823. 

The  arrival  of  a  little  brother  was  a 
great  comfort  to  my  sister.  She  de- 
voted herself  to  me  with  all  the  force 
of  a  timid,  tender  heart  that  needs 
something  to  love.  I  remember  still, 
the  petty  tyrannies  I  exercised  over 
her,  and  against  which  she  never  re- 
belled. 

When  she  started  out,  ready  to  go 
and  join  her  young  companions,  I 
would  hang  to  her  gown  and  beg  her 
to  return.  Then  she  would  come 
back,  take  off  her  holiday  attire  and 


l8  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

remain  with  me.  One  day  she  threat- 
ened jokingly  if  I  was  not  good  she 
would  die.  She  pretended  she  was 
dead  in  her  chair.  The  horror  that 
this  feigned  insensibility  of  my  dear 
one  caused  me  is  perhaps  the  strongest 
impression  I  ever  experienced,  fate 
having  decreed  that  I  should  not  be 
conscious  when  she  breathed  her  last. 

Carried  away  by  excitement,  I 
threw  myself  upon  her  and  bit  her 
arm  terribly;  I  can  still  hear  her  cry 
of  anguish.  For  the  reproaches  she 
made  to  me  I  made  but  one  answer, 
"Why  were  you  dead?  Will  you  die 
again?  " 

In  July,  1828,  the  misfortunes  of 
our  father  led  to  a  frightful  castas- 
trophe.  One  day,  his  ship  that  sailed 
from    St.    Malo  entered  the    port    of 


my  sister  Henrietta.  19 

Treguier  without  him.  The  crew  de- 
clared that  for  several  days  they  had 
seen  nothing  of  him.  For  a  whole 
month  my  mother  sought  for  him, 
with  inexpressible  anguish.  At  last 
she  learned  that  a  body  had  been 
found  on  the  coast  of  Erqui,  a  village 
situated  between  St.  Brieuc  and  Cape 
FreTiel.  It  was  decided  that  the  body 
was  our  father's. 

What  was  the  cause  of  his  death? 
Was  he  surprised  by  one  of  those  ac- 
cidents so  common  in  the  life  of  sea- 
faring men?  Had  he  abandoned  him- 
self to  one  of  those  long  dreams  of  the 
Infinite  which  to  the  Breton  means 
endless  sleep?  Did  he  think  he  had 
earned  repose?  Finding  the  struggle 
so  hard,  did  he  seat  himself  on  the 
rock  saying,  "This  shall  be  the  stone 


20  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

of  my  eternal  rest.  Here  I  will  repose 
because  I  have  chosen  it?"  We  never 
knew. 

They  buried  him  on  the  beach 
where  twice  a  day  the  waves  came  to 
visit  him.  I  have  not  yet  been  able 
to  raise  a  stone  to  his  memory.  My 
mother's  sorrow  was  deep.  She  be- 
lieved in  our  father  and  loved  him 
tenderly.  She  could  not  speak  of 
him  without  tears  and  she  was  per- 
suaded that  his  tired  and  tortured 
soul  was  alwa3's  pure  and  true  in  the 
eyes  of  God. 

II. 

From  this  moment  our  condition 
was  that  of  poverty.  My  brother,  who 
was  nineteen  years  old,  went  to  Paris, 
and  there  commenced  that  life  of  hard 
work  and  constant  application  which 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  21 

was  not  sufficiently  rewarded.  We 
left  Treguier,  which  was  full  of  un- 
happy memories,  and  went  to  live  at 
Lannion,  where  my  mother's  family 
resided.  My  sister  was  seventeen. 
Her  faith  was  always  earnest,  and  the 
thought  of  embracing  a  religious  life 
had  taken  strong  hold  of  her  mind. 
On  winter  evenings  she  carried  me 
to  church  under  her  cloak,  and  I  was 
delighted  to  tramp  through  the  snow, 
thus  completely  sheltered.  If  it  had 
not  been  for  me  she  would  undoubt- 
edly have  chosen  this  life  which,  seen 
in  the  light  of  her  instruction  and 
with  her  pious  disposition,  her  lack  of 
fortune  and  the  customs  of  the  coun- 
try, seemed  marked  out  for  her.  The 
convent  of  St.  Anne,  at  Lannion, 
which  combined  the  care   of  the  sick 


22  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

with  the  education  of  women,  particu- 
larly attracted  her.  Alas!  perhaps  if 
she  had  carried  out  this  idea  it  would 
have  been  better  for  her,  i_Mt  ohe 
was  too  good  a  girl,  too  tender  a  sis- 
ter, to  prefer  her  happiness  to  her 
duty,  even  though  the  religious  be- 
liefs which  she  still  held,  urged  her  to 
it.  From  that  time  she  considered 
herself  charged  with  my  future.  One 
day  she  noticed  my  embarrassed 
movements  and  saw  that  I  sought 
timidly  to  hide  a  rent  in  a  well-worn 
garment  of  mine.  She  wept;  the 
sight  of  this  poor  child,  of  refined 
instincts,  destined  to  misery,  broke 
her  heart.  She  resolved  to  accept 
the  battle  of  life,  and  imposed  upon 
herself  the  task  of  bridging  the  chasm 
of  distress  which  our  father's  misfor- 
tunes had  opened  before  us. 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  23 

The  manual  labor  of  a  young  girl 
was  entirely  insufficient  for  that.  The 
career  she  embraced  proved  the  bit- 
terest of  all.  It  was  decided  that  we 
should  return  to  Treguier  and  that 
there  she  should  become  a  teacher. 
Of  all  the  positions  that  a  well-raised 
young  person  without  fortune  could 
choose,  the  instruction  of  women  in  a 
little  provincial  town  is,  without  ex- 
ception, that  which  demands  the 
greatest  courage.  These  were  the 
days  immediately  following  the  Revo- 
lution of  1830,  which  were,  for  the 
remote  provinces,  times  of  trying 
changes.  The  nobility  under  the 
Restoration,  seeing  their  privileges 
unquestioned,  took  a  leading  part  in 
the  management  of  affairs.  To  re- 
venge themselves  for  fancied  humili- 


24  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

ations  in  the  past,  they  withdrew  into 
a  narrow  circle  and  gave  no  aid  to  the 
general  development  of  society.  All 
the  Legitimist  families  affected  to  be- 
lieve that  their  children  could  only  be 
educated  in  the  religious  communi- 
ties. The  bourgeois  families,  to  be  in 
the  fashion  and  to  imitate  the  nobility, 
followed  their  example  in  this  regard. 
Incapable  of  descending  to  any  of 
those  vulgar  schemings,  without 
which,  in  a  private  school,  it  is  almost 
impossible  to  succeed,  my  sister,  with 
her  rare  distinction,  her  deep  mind 
and  solid  education,  saw  her  poor 
little  school  abandoned.  Her  modesty 
and  reserve,  the  exquisite  care  that 
she  bestowed  upon  the  least  detail, 
were  here  the  reasons  of  her  failure. 
Obliged    to    cope   with  the  meanest 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  25 

motives  and  the  most  foolish  preten- 
sions,   this    noble     and    great    spirit 
spent    itself    in    a    fruitless  struggle 
against  a  low  state    of    society   from 
which  the  Revolution  had  carried  off 
the  better  elements  it  had  once  pos- 
sessed, and  left  nothing  in  their  place. 
Some    superior  people  among  the 
mean  little  souls  of  the  country  knew 
how  to  appreciate  her.      A  very  intel- 
ligent,  unprejudiced  man,   an  excep- 
tion in  this  provincial  village,    where 
aristocracy  had  either  disappeared  or 
become  lowered  or  vulgarized,   con- 
ceived   a    sincere    affection    for   her. 
My  sister,  in  spite  of  a  birthmark,  to 
which  it  took  some  time  to   become 
accustomed,  was  at  this  age  extremely 
charming.     Those    who    never   knew 
her    till   after    years,    when   she  was 


26  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

worn  out  by  a  rigorous  climate,  could 
not  imagine  how  delicate  and  refined 
her  features  were.  Her  eyes  were  of 
a  rare  sweetness;  her  hand  was  as 
beautiful  and  delicate  as  I  have  ever 
seen.  A  proposal  was  made,  with 
certain  conditions  delicately  attached. 
These  conditions  were  such  as  to 
separate  her  in  a  measure  from  those 
for  whom  it  was  thought  she  had 
worked  enough.  She  refused,  al- 
though the  clearness  and  justice  of 
her  mind  inspired  in  her  a  sympathy 
with  those  qualities  in  another.  She 
preferred  poverty  to  riches,  if  the  lat- 
ter were  not  to  be  shared  with  her 
family. 

Her  situation,  nevertheless,  be- 
came more  and  more  painful.  The 
tuitions  which  were  due  were  so  irreg- 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  27 

ularly  paid  that  sometimes  we  seri- 
ously regretted  having  left  Lannion, 
where  we  had  always  found  devotion 
and  sympathy. 

She  then  resolved  to  drain  the  cup 
to  its  bitter  dregs  (1835).  A  friend  of 
our  family,  who  had  about  this  time 
gone  on  a  visit  to  Paris,  told  her  of  a 
situation  as  under-teacher  in  a  small 
school  for  girls.  The  poor  child  ac- 
cepted it.  She  started  at  the  age  of 
twenty-four,  without  protection  or 
advice,  for  a  world  of  which  she  was 
ignorant  and  which  reserved  for  her  a 
cruel    apprenticeship. 

Her  first  days  in  Paris  were  horri- 
ble. That  cold,  cruel  world,  full  of 
charlatanism,  that  desert  where  she 
had  not  a  single  real  friend,  filled  her 
with  despair.     The  deep  affection  that 


28  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

we  Bretons  have  for  home,  native 
soil  and  family  life,  awoke  keenly  in 
her,  adrift  on  an  ocean  where  her  tim- 
idity kept  her  from  being  appreciated. 
Her  reserve  hindered  her  from  form- 
ing new  connections  that  would  in 
some  measure  have  consoled  her;  she 
fell  a  prey  to  a  home-sickness  that 
seriously  affected  her  health.  The 
most  cruel  thing  for  a  Breton  in  the 
first  moments  of  his  transplanting  is 
that  he  feels  deserted  by  God  as  well 
as  man.  Heaven  is  veiled  from  him. 
His  faith  in  general  morality,  his 
tranquil  optimism  are  shattered.  He 
feels  that  he  is  cast  down  from  Para- 
dise into  a  hell  of  icy  indifference. 
The  voice  of  the  good  man  sounds 
far  off  and  hollow  to  him,  and  he  cries 
bitterly,      "  How     can    we    sing    the 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  29 

Lord's  song  in  a  strange  land?"  To 
add  to  her  distress,  the  first  houses 
into  which  her  fate  led  her  were  not 
worthy  of  her.  Imagine  a  tender 
young  girl  who  had  never  before  left 
her  home,  her  mother,  her  friends, 
thrown  suddenly  into  one  of  those 
frivolous  boarding-schools  where  her 
tenderest  feelings  were  wounded  every 
moment,  and  the  teachers  showed 
nothing  but  carelessness,  frivolity 
and  sordidness.  This  first  experi- 
ence prejudiced  her  very  deeply 
against  the  boarding-schools  in  Paris. 
Twenty  times  she  was  on  the  point  of 
leaving;  it  needed  invincible  courage 
to  remain. 

Nevertheless,  little  by  little,  she 
was  appreciated.  The  supervision 
of  the  studies  in  one  of  these  schools, 


30  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

fortunately,  this  time  a  very  reputable 
one,  was  confided  to  her;  but  the  ob- 
stacles which  hindered  her  from 
carrying  out  her  views,  the  little 
meannesses  inseparable  from  these 
private  establishments,  almost  al- 
ways kept  up  by  the  proprietors  with 
a  view  to  gain,  prevented  her  from 
ever  taking  pleasure  in  this  employ- 
ment. 

She  worKed  sixteen  hours  a  day. 
She  submitted  to  all  the  public  tests 
imposed  by  the  rules.  The  work  had 
not  the  effect  upon  her  it  would  have 
had  upon  a  mediocre  nature.  Instead 
of  crushing  her  it  strengthened  her 
and  greatly  developed  her  ideas.  Her 
education,  already  quite  extensive, 
became  more  liberal.  She  studied 
the  works  of    the  modern   historical 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  3 1 

school,  and  later  it  needed  but  a  few 
suggestions  from  me  to  make  her  one 
of  the  finest  of  critics.  At  the  same 
time,  her  religious  ideas  were  modi- 
fied. History  showed  her  the  insuf- 
ficiency of  all  religious  dogma;  but 
her  genuinely  pious  nature,  the  result 
of  birth  and  early  education,  was 
too  solid  to  be  shattered.  This 
development  of  the  intellect,  which 
might  have  been  dangerous  in  an- 
other woman,  was  harmless  here;  but 
she  kept  these  ideas  to  herself.  Cul- 
ture had  in  her  eyes  an  intrinsic  and 
absolute  value;  she  never  thought  of 
parading  it  vainly. 

In  1838  she  sent  for  me  to  come  to 
Paris.  Educated  at  Treguier  by  the 
excellent  priests  who  conducted  the 
little  seminary  there,  I    announced  at 


32  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

an  early  period  my  intention  to  adopt 
an  ecclesiastical  life.  My  success  at 
college  delighted  my  sister,  and  she 
had  imparted  it  to  a  good  and  dis- 
tinguished man,  -who  was  also  a  zeal- 
ous Catholic,  Dr.  Descuret,  a  physi- 
cian in  her  school,  the  author  of  the 
Medecitis  des  passions. 

M.  Descuret  spoke  to  M.  Dupau- 
loup,  who  was  then  conducting  in  the 
most  brilliant  fashion  the  little  sem- 
inary Saint-Nicolas-du-Chardonnet, 
of  the  possible  acquisition  of  such  a 
good  scholar,  and  returned  to  tell  my 
sister  that  a  scholarship  was  offered 
to  me  at  the  little  seminary.  I  was 
then  fifteen  and  a  half.  My  sister, 
whose  faith  in  Catholicism  had  already 
begun  to  be  shaken,  saw,  with  some 
regret,  the   wholly  clerical   direction 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  33 

my  education  had  taken,  but  she 
knew  the  respect  that  the  faith  of  a 
child  deserves.  She  never  said  one 
word  to  turn  me  from  the  path  I  had 
voluntarily  chosen.  She  came  to  see 
me  every  week;  she  still  wore  the 
simple  green  woolen  shawl  that  had  in 
Brittany  covered  her  proud  form. 
She  was  the  same  loving,  sweet  young 
girl,  but  with  an  added  firmness  and 
power  which  the  trials  of  her  life  and 
her  deep  studies  had  produced. 

The  career  of  a  teacher  is  so  un- 
profitable for  women  that  at  the  end 
of  five  years  passed  in  Paris,  after 
several  illnesses  the  result  of  over- 
work, my  sister  was  still  far  from 
carrying  out  the  plans  which  she  had 
made;  but  it  is  true  that  these  plans 
were  so  extensive  as  to  have  discour- 


34  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

aged  any  other  heart  than  hers.  Our 
father  had  left  debts  which  exceeded 
much  the  value  of  our  paternal  home, 
the  only  property  remaining  to  us. 
But  our  mother  was  so  beloved,  and 
all  business  matters  are  treated  in 
such  a  patriarchal  manner  in  that 
country,  that  not  a  single  creditor 
thought  of  forcing  a  settlement.  It 
was  agreed  that  my  mother  should 
keep  the  house,  paying  what  she 
could,  and  when  she  could.  My 
sister  did  not  wish  to  hear  of  rest  till 
all  this  heavy  indebtedness  should  be 
liquidated.  For  this  reason  she  was 
led  to  listen  to  propositions  made  to 
her  in  1840,  to  go  as  a  private  teacher 
into  Poland.  It  would  be  necessary 
to  expatriate  herself  for  years  and  ac- 
cept the  most  binding  contracts;    but 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  35 

she  had  made  the  greatest  effort  of 
her  life  when  she  left  Brittany  to  enter 
into  the  great  world.  She  started  in 
January,  1841,  traveled  through  the 
Black  Forest  and  the  south  of  Ger- 
many, then  covered  with  snow,  joined 
at  Vienna  the  family  to  which  she  had 
attached  herself;  then,  climbing  the 
Carpathians,  arrived  at  the  Chateau 
of  Clemensow,  upon  the  banks  of  the 
Bug,  a  gloomy  dwelling,  where  dur- 
ing ten  years  she  was  to  learn  how 
bitter  is  exile  even  when  sustained  by 
the  highest  motives. 

This  time,  at  least,  Fate  afforded 
her  one  compensation  for  many  in- 
justices, in  placing  her  in  a  family  that 
1  can  properly  enough  mention,  since 
to  its  historical  fame  was  added  a  con- 
temporarv  glory  which  put  the  name 


36  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

in  every  mouth.  This  was  the  family 
of  Count  Andre  Zamoyski.  The  ardor 
with  which  she  entered  upon  her 
duties,  the  affection  she  conceived  for 
her  three  pupils,  the  happiness  of 
seeing  the  fruition  of  her  efforts,  par- 
ticularly in  her  who  from  her  early  age 
received  the  greater  part  of  her  instruc- 
tion, the  Princess  Cecile  Lubomirska, 
the  rare  esteem  in  which  she  was 
held  by  this  whole  noble  family,  who 
after  her  return  to  France  continued 
to  come  to  her  for  counsel  and  guid- 
ance, the  affinity  between  her  up- 
right and  serious  nature  and  the 
minds  of  the  family  in  which  she  lived, 
caused  her  to  forget  the  sadness  in- 
separable from  such  a  position  and 
the  rigors  of  a  climate  very  unsuited  to 
her    temperament.     She   became  at- 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  37 

tached  to  Poland,  and  particularly  to 
the  Polish  peasant,  in  whom  she  saw 
a  good  creature,  full  of  high  religious 
instincts, recalling  strongly  the  Breton 
peasant,  but  less  energetic. 

The  excursions  which  she  made  to 
Germany  and  Italy  completed  her  ed- 
ucation. She  lived  at  various  times  at 
Varsovie,  Vienna  and  Dresden.  Ven- 
ice and  Florence  delighted  her;  but 
it  was  to  Rome  that  she  was  attached 
most  strongly.  This  city,  so  deeply 
inspiring, led  her  to  regard  with  seren- 
ity the  distinction  which  all  philoso- 
phical minds  must  make  between  true 
religion  and  its  particular  forms.  She 
loved  to  call  it  with  Lord  Byron, 
"  dear  city  of  the  soul;  "  and,  like  all 
strangers  who  lived  there,  she  had  be- 
come   indulgent   even    of    the  foolish 


38  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

and    puerile    formalities    of    modern 
papacy. 

III. 
In  1845  I  left  St.  Sulpice  Seminary. 
Thanks  to  the  liberal  and  thoughtful 
mind  which  presides  over  this  school, 
I  had  carried  my  philological  studies 
a  great  length;  my  religious  belief 
was  greatly  shaken.  Henrietta  was 
again  my  support.  She  had  advanced 
into  the  breach  before  me;  her  faith 
in  Catholicism  had  completely  dis- 
appeared, but  she  had  always  care- 
fully refrained  from  exercising  the 
slightest  influence  over  me  on  this 
subject.  When  I  confided  to  her  the 
doubts  which  tormented  me,  which 
made  it  my  duty  to  abandon  a  career 
in  which  absolute  faith  is  required, 
she  was  delighted,  and  offered  to  help 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  39 

me  through  the  difficult  passage.  I 
entered  upon  practical  life  at  the  age 
of  twenty-three,  old  in  thought,  but 
yet  a  novice,  as  ignorant  of  the  world 
as  it  is  possible  to  be.  Literally  I 
knew  no  one;  the  simple  advantages 
which  even  a  youth  of  fifteen  might 
possess  were  lacking.  I  was  not  even 
a  Bachelor  of  Letters.  We  agreed 
that  I  should  seek  in  the  pensions  of 
Paris  an  occupation  which  should  mit 
au  pair,  as  they  say,  that  is,  should 
give  me  board  and  lodging,  leaving 
me  ample  time  for  work.  Twelve 
hundred  francs  which  she  sent  me 
would  have  enabled  me  to  supply  all 
that  such  a  position  required.  These 
twelve  hundred  francs  have  been  the 
corner-stone  of  my  life.  I  have  never 
exhausted  them;  but  the}-  have  given 


4-0  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

me  the  tranquility  of  mind  necessary 
to  think  at  my  ease,  and  prevented 
me  from  experiencing  the  necessity 
which  would  have  stifled  me.  Her 
exquisite  letters  were  at  this  decisive 
moment  of  my  life  my  consolation 
and  support. 

While  I  struggled  with  difficulties, 
aggravated  by  my  total  inexperience 
of  the  world,  her  health  suffered  from 
the  rigors  of  the  Polish  winters.  A 
chronic  affection  of  the  larynx  devel- 
oped, and  became  so  serious  in  1850 
that  her  return  was  judged  necessary. 
Besides,  her  task  was  accomplished; 
our  father's  debts  were  entirely  paid; 
the  little  property  he  had  left  us  was 
in  my  mother's  hands  free  from  en- 
cumbrances; my  brother  had  gained 
a  position  through  hard  work,  which 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  41 

promised  to  bring  him  wealth.     We 
decided  to  live  together.      In  Septem- 
ber,    1850,    I    joined    her    at    Berlin. 
These  ten  years  of  exile  had  entirely 
transformed   her.       The    wrinkles    of 
premature  old  age  were  traced  on  her 
face;    of    the  charm   which   she   still 
had  when  she   bade  me  adieu  in  the 
parlor  of  the  St.  Nicholas  Seminary, 
nothing  remained  but  the  tender  ex- 
pression   of    her    ineffable   goodness. 
Then  began  for  us  those  dear  years, 
the  memory  of    which   melts    me    to 
tears.       We    took    a    little    suite    of 
rooms   at   the   end  of  a   garden   near 
Val-de-grace.     Our  isolation  was  com- 
plete.    She  had  no  acquaintances,  nor 
did  she  seek  to  make  any.     Our  win- 
dows looked  out  on  the  Carmelite  gar- 
dens in  the  rue  d'Enfer.     The  life  of 


42  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

these  recluses  during  the  long  hours 
which  I  passed  in  the  library  regula- 
ted in  some  degree  her  own  life,  and 
was  her  only  distraction.  She  had 
the  greatest  respect  for  my  work.  I 
have  seen  her  in  the  evening,  while 
sitting  beside  me,  hardly  daring  to 
breathe  for  fear  of  interrupting  me. 
Still  she  wished  to  see  me,  and  the 
door  between  our  two  rooms  was  al- 
ways open.  Her  love  had  come  to 
such  perfection  that  the  unspoken 
communion  of  our  thoughts  satisfied 
her.  She,  so  exacting,  so  jealous  in 
her  affection,  contented  herself  with 
a  few  moments'  intercourse  each  day, 
providing  she  but  knew  she  was  loved. 
Thanks  to  her  rigorous  economy,  with 
extremely  limited  resources,  she  made 
a  home  for  me,    where  nothing  was 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  43 

ever  lacking,  which  even  had  an  aus- 
tere grace  of  its  own.     Our  thoughts 
were   so  perfectly  in  unison  that  we 
hardly  needed  to  put  them  into  words. 
Our  general  opinions  about  God  and 
the  world  were  identical.     There  was 
hardly  a  shade  in  the  theories  that  I 
advanced  at  this  time  which  she  did 
not  appreciate.      She  was  in  advance 
of  me  on  many  topics  of  modern  his- 
tory, which  she  had   studied  at   their 
sources.       The    general    plan    of    my 
career,    the  course  of    inflexible    sin- 
cerity which  I    laid  down  for  myself, 
was  entirely  the  combined  product  of 
both   our   consciences,   but  I    should 
have  been  tempted  many  times  to  give 
up  if  I  had  not  found  her  always  near 
me,  like  a  second  self,  to  recall  me  to 
my  duty. 


44  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

Her  part  in  the  direction  of  my 
ideas  was  thus  very  extensive.  She  was 
an  incomparable  secretary;  she  copied 
all  my  papers  and  understood  them 
so  thoroughly  that  I  relied  on  her  as 
a  living  index  of  my  thoughts.  She 
read  proofs  of  all  I  wrote  and  her 
precious  criticism  sought  out  with  in- 
finite nicety  all  the  little  negligences 
which  I  had  not  yet  noticed.  I  owe 
what  excellences  of  style  I  have  en- 
tirely to  her.  She  had  acquired  great 
elegance  in  writing,  the  result  of  her 
study  of  ancient  literature,  and  her 
style  was  so  pure  and  so  exact  that  I 
do  not  believe  there  could  have  been  a 
more  ideally  perfect  diction  since 
Port-Royale.  That  rendered  her  very 
severe.  She  was  not  willing  to  admit 
any    excellence    in    modern    writing, 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  45 

and  when  she  saw  the  essays  which  I 
had  composed  before  our  reunion,  and 
which  she  had  not  read  while  in 
Poland,  they  did  but  half  please  her. 
She  shared  the  beliefs  and  she 
thought  that  everyone  should  express 
himself  frankly  and  freely,  but  the 
manner  of  doing  so  appeared  careless 
and  abrupt,  and  she  found  the  attacks 
unreasonable,  the  tone  harsh,  and  the 
method  of  treating  the  subject  disre- 
spectful. She  convinced  me  that  one 
can  say  anything  in  the  simple  and 
correct  style  of  good  authors  and  that 
new  expressions  and  overdrawn 
figures  come  either  from  misplaced 
conceit  or  from  ignorance  of  the  real 
riches  of  our  language.  Thus,  from 
my  reunion  with  her  dated  a  profound 
change  in   my  manner   of  writing.      I 


46  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

accustomed  myself  to  compose  with  a 
view  to  her  criticism,  trying  experi- 
ments sometimes  merely  to  see  the 
effect  upon  her,  intending  to  sacrifice 
them  if  she  asked  it.  This  operation 
of  the  mind  has  become  for  me,  since 
she  is  no  more,  like  the  continual 
pain  in  a  limb  which  one  knows  has 
been  amputated.  She  was  an  organ 
of  my  intellectual  life,  and  it  is  truly 
a  part  of  my  own  being  which  is  in- 
terred with  her  in  the  tomb. 

We  had  come  to  see  with  the  same 
eyes  and  to  feel  with  the  same  heart 
all  moral  things.  She  was  so  thor- 
oughly in  sympathy  with  my  mode  of 
thought  that  she  nearly  always  di- 
vined what  I  was  about  to  say,  and 
the  same  idea  would  occur  to  us  sim- 
ultaneously.    But   in   one  sense   she 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  47 

surpassed  me  very  much.  In  spirit- 
ual things  I  still  sought  material  for 
interesting  attacks  or  artistic  studies; 
nothing  tarnished  the  purity  of  her 
inner  communion  with  the  good. 
Her  truly  religious  nature  would  not 
suffer  the  least  discordant  note.  One 
feature  which  wounded  her  in  my 
writings  was  an  ironical  tendency 
that  took  possession  of  me  and  which 
I  mingled  with  better  things.  I  had 
never  suffered,  and  I  thought  it  a 
sign  of  philosophy  to  smile  discreetly 
at  the  weakness  or  vanity  of  man. 
This  habit  wounded  her,  and,  little  by 
little,  I  sacrificed  it  to  her.  Now  do  I 
recognize  her  wisdom.  The  good 
should  be  simply  good,  all  kinds  of 
ridicule  imply  the  remains  of  vanity 
or  personal  scorn,  and  are  a  sign  of 
bad  taste. 


48  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

Her  faith  was  of  the  purest.  She 
rejected  absolutely  the  supernatural, 
but  she  retained  the  warmest  attach- 
ment for  Christianity.  It  was  not  ex- 
actly Protestantism  which  pleased 
her,  but  a  larger  faith.  She  pre- 
served most  tender  memories  of 
Catholicism,  of  her  chants  and  psalms, 
and  the  pious  observances  in  which 
her  childhood  had  been  cradled.  She 
was  a  saint  without  the  precise  and 
narrow  ceremonies  and  symbols. 
About  a  month  before  her  death  we 
had  a  conversation  upon  religious 
matters  with  good  Doctor  Gaillardot, 
upon  the  terrace  in  front  of  our  house  at 
Ghazir.  She  opposed  my  inclination 
to  a  belief  in  a  deity  without  con- 
sciousness and  a  purely  ideal  immor- 
tality.     Without  being  a  deist   in  the 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  49 

common  acceptation  of  the  word,  she 
did  not  wish  religion  to  be  reduced  to 
pure  abstraction.  In  practice,  at 
least,  everything  was  clear  to  her. 
"Yes,"  said  she  to  us,  "in  my  last 
hour  I  shall  have  the  consolation  of 
saying  to  myself  that  I  have  done  the 
best  possible,  and  if  there  is  anything 
which  should  not  be  vanity,  it  is 
that." 

The  exquisite  sentiment  of  her  na- 
ture was  the  source  of  her  most  re- 
fined joy.  A  beautiful  day,  a  ray  of 
sunshine,  even  a  flower  delighted  her. 
She  appreciated  the  delicate  art  of 
the  great  idealistic  school,  but  she 
could  not  endure  that  brutal  or  vio- 
lent art  which  had  for  its  object  any- 
thing but  beauty.  One  circumstance 
in  particular  gave  her  rare  acquaint- 


50  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

ance  with  the  art  of  the  middle  ages. 
She  collected  for  me  all  the  facts   on 
the  condition  of   the  fine  arts  of  the 
Fourteenth  century  which  form  a  part 
of  Volume   XXIV  of    "  The  Literary 
History  of  France."     For  these  facts 
she  searched  with  patience   and  ad- 
mirable   accuracy    through    all     the 
great    archeological   collections   that 
had  been   published   in  the  last  half 
century,  selecting  all  that  belonged  to 
the  subject.     The  notes  that  she  made 
at  this  same  time  were  so  full  of  dis- 
cernment     that     I      nearly      always 
adopted    them.      To    complete     our 
researches     we    made    a  journey    to- 
gether into  the  country  where  Gothic 
art    was    formed,   in   Vexin,    Valois, 
Beauvoises,  into  the  region  of  Noyon 
of    Layon,     and    Rheims.     She   dis- 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  51 

played  in  those  occupations  which 
interested  her,  surprising  activity. 
Her  ideal  was  a  laborious,  obscure 
life  surrounded  by  affection.  She 
often  repeated  the  words  of  Thomas 
a  Kempis:  "In  angelo  cum  libello." 
She  passed  many  happy  hours  in 
these  tranquil  occupations.  Her 
mind  was  full  of  serenity  then,  and 
her  heart,  ordinarily  anxious,  was  full 
of  peace.  Her  capacity  for  work  was 
prodigious.  I  have  seen  her  bend 
incessantly  over  the  same  task  for 
days  together.  She  assisted  in  edit- 
ing a  journal  of  education  conducted 
by  her  friend  Mdlle.  Ulliac-Treana- 
deure.  She  never  signed  her  own 
name,  and  it  was  impossible,  with 
such  great  modesty,  for  her  to  be 
known    and    appreciated,    save    by  a 


52  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

very  few.     The  detestable   taste   that 
prevails  in   France  in  text-books  in- 
tended  for   the  education  of   woman 
did   not  lead  her  to  hope  for   either 
great  satisfaction   or    great    success. 
She    undertook    this    work    solely  to 
oblige  her  old  and  infirm  friend.      Her 
letters    showed    her    true     character 
more  than  anything  else;  she  wrote 
them  to  perfection.      Her  notes  on  her 
travels  also  were  excellent.      I  left  it 
to  her  to  relate  the  non-scientific  part 
of  our  journey  in  the   Orient.      Alas! 
all    the     account  of    our    expedition 
which  I  confided  to  her  perished  with 
her.      What    I   found   on  the  subject 
among  her  papers  is  very  good.     We 
hope  to  be  able  to  publish  them  with 
her  letters.      We   shall   publish,  too, 
an  account  which  she  wrote  of    the 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  53 

great  maritime  expeditions  of  the 
fifteenth  and  sixteenth  centuries.  She 
had  made  very  extended  researches 
for  this  work,  and  had  brought  to  it 
skill  very  rare  in  books  intended  for 
children.  She  did  nothing  half-way. 
The  uprightness  of  her  judgment 
showed  itself  by  her  exquisite  taste 
for  the  true  and  the  good. 

She  had  not  what  we  call  wit,  if  we 
mean  by  that  something  light  and 
mocking,  after  the  manner  of  the 
French.  She  never  sneered  at  any- 
one. Malice  was  odious  to  her,  she 
saw  something  painful  in  it.  I  re- 
member that  at  a  pardon  of  lower  Brit- 
tany, where  we  went  in  a  boat,  our 
bark  was  preceded  by  another  filled 
with  poor  women,  who,  wishing  to 
make  themselves  fine  for  the/^/r.had 


54  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

made  cheap  toilettes  in  very  bad 
taste.  Those  who  were  with  us 
laughed  at  them,  and  the  poor  wom- 
en saw  it.  I  saw  my  sister  bathed  in 
tears.  To  overwhelm  with  jests  good 
people  who  thus  tried  to  forget  for 
the  moment  their  misfortunes,  and  who 
perhaps  put  themselves  to  inconven- 
ience out  of  deference  to  the  public, 
seemed  barbarous  to  her.  In  her 
eyes, to  be  ridiculous  was  to  be  pitied; 
from  that  time  she  loved  such  a  one 
and  defended  him  against  all  raillery. 
This  accounted  for  her  indifference 
to  the  world  and  her  inability  to  carry 
on  ordinary  conversation,  nearly  al- 
ways a  tissue  of  malice  and  frivolity. 
She  was  prematurely  old,  and  she  ex- 
aggerated her  age  by  her  costume 
and  manners.      She  possessed  a  kind 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  55 

of  religion  of  misfortune;  she  received 
and  cultivated  nearly  every  oppor- 
tunity for  weeping;  sadness  was  a 
second  nature  to  her.  Generally 
common  people  could  not  understand 
her  and  found  her  stiff  and  embar- 
rassing. Nothing  but  what  was  en- 
tirely good  pleased  her.  Everything 
must  be  genuinely  good  with  her. 
She  did  not  know  how  to  dissemble. 
The  country  people,  the  peasants,  on 
the  contrary,  discovered  her  exquisite 
kindness,  and  people  who  knew  how 
to  approach  her  saw  very  quickly 
the  depth  of  her  nature  and  her  great 
distinction. 

Sometimes  she  was  charmingly  fem- 
inine; she  became  a  young  girl  again; 
she  looked  on  life  smilingly,  and 
her  inadaptability  to  the  world  seemed 


56  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

to  trouble  her.  The  flying  moments 
of  delightful  helplessness,  fleeting 
gleams  of  a  vanished  morning,  were 
full  of  melancholy  sweetness  for  her. 
In  that  regard  she  was  superior  to 
people  who  profess  a  gloomy  abhor- 
ence  of  the  world.  She  loved  life; 
she  enjoyed  it;  she  could  smile  at  a 
jewel  or  some  feminine  trifle,  as  one 
smiles  at  a  flower.  She  had  not  said 
to  nature  that  abrenuntio  of  the  as- 
cetic Christian.  Virtue  for  her  was 
not  a  strong  tension,  a  forced  effort; 
it  was  the  natural  instinct  of  a  beau- 
tiful soul  reaching  out  after  the  good 
spontaneously,  serving  God  without 
fear  or  trembling. 

Thus  we  lived  for  six  years  a  very 
pure,  elevated  life.  My  position 
was  always  extremely  modest,  but  she 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  57 

wished  it  so.  She  would  not  allow 
it  even  when  I  desired  to  sacrifice  the 
least  portion  of  my  independence  for 
my  promotion.  The  misfortune  which 
overwhelmed  our  brother  and  carried 
with  it  the  results  of  all  our  little 
economics,  did  not  shake  her.  She 
would  have  taken  up  life  again  among 
strangers,  had  it  been  necessary  for  my 
complete  development.  My  God! 
did  I  do  everything  I  could  to  make 
her  happy?  With  what  bitterness  I 
reproach  myself  now  for  not  having 
been  more  expansive,  for  not  having 
told  her  how  much  I  loved  her,  for 
having  yielded  too  much  to  my  taste 
for  quiet  concentration,  and  for  not 
putting  to  better  use  each  hour  in 
which  she  was  left  to  me.  Oh!  if  I 
could  live  over  one  of  those  moments 


58  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

in  which  I  failed  to  make  her  happy; 
but  I  call  her  vanished  soul  to  witness, 
she  was  always  at  the  depths  of  my 
heart,  that  she  reigned  over  my  whole 
life  as  no  one  else  ever  did,  that  she 
was  always  the  center  of  my  sorrow 
and  my  joys.  If  I  sinned  toward  her, 
it  was  owing  to  a  certain  coldness  of 
manner  which  people  who  know  me 
do  not  regard,  and  through  a  deep 
sentiment  of  respect  for  her  in  which 
any  demonstration  of  affection  would 
seem  out  of  place.  She  always  held 
this  place  in  my  esteem.  My  long 
clerical  education,  four  years  of  abso- 
lutely solitary  life,  had  given  me  this 
cast  of  character,  and  her  delicate  re- 
serve hindered  her  from  combatting 
it  as  much  as  some  might  have 
done. 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  59 

IV. 

My  inexperience  of  life,  my  pro- 
found ignorance  of  the  difference  be- 
tween a  man's  heart  and  a  woman's, 
led  me  at  this  time  to  demand  a  sac- 
rifice which  would  have  been  too  great 
for  any  other  than  she.  The  strong 
feeling  of  duty  I  had  toward  such  a 
friend  was  too  deep  for  it  to  occur  to 
me  to  change  my  condition  without 
her  consent.  But  she  herself  took 
the  initiative,  with  her  accustomed 
nobility  of  heart.  From  the  first  days 
of  our  reunion  she  had  urged  me  to 
marry.  She  often  returned  to  the 
subject,  she  had  even  spoken,  with- 
out my  knowledge,  to  one  of  our 
friends,  of  a  union  she  had  planned 
for  me.  The  course  she  took  in  this 
matter  led  me  into  serious  error.      I 


60  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

really  thought  that  she  would  not  be 
wounded  when  I  told  her  that  I  had 
chosen  a  person  worthy  of  being  asso- 
ciated with  her.  In  allowing  me  to 
speak  of  marriage,  I  never  understood 
that  she  would  leave  me.  I  had 
thought  that  she  would  remain,  my 
accomplished  and  beloved  sister,  in- 
capable of  giving  or  taking  offense, 
so  completely  assured  of  the  love 
which  I  felt  for  her  that  she  would 
not  be  hurt  by  that  given  to  another. 
I  see  now  the  error  of  such  belief. 
Woman  does  not  love  like  a  man;  her 
affection  is  exclusive  and  jealous;  she 
does  not  admit  that  there  may  be  di- 
versity in  the  nature  of  love.  But  I 
was  excusable;  I  was  deceived  by  my 
extreme  simplicity  of  heart,  and  also 
a  little  by  her.     Is  it  not  possible  that 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  6l 

she  was  deceived  as  to  her  own 
strength?  I  believe  so.  When  the 
marriage  which  she  sought  to  arrange 
for  me  was  set  aside,  she  felt  a  certain 
regret,  although  the  project  had  in 
some  respect  ceased  to  please  her. 
But,  oh,  mysterious  heart  of  woman! 
The  sacrifice  she  had  prepared  to 
make  became  too  severe  when  it  was 
offered  to  her.  She  had  not  objected 
to  the  chalice  of  absinthe  which  her 
own  hands  had  prepared;  she  hesi- 
tated now  before  that  which  was 
offered  her,  though  I  had  used  all  my 
skill  to  render  it  sweet.  Terrible 
consequence  of  exaggerated  delicacy! 
This  brother  and  sister,  so  dear  to 
each  other,  because  they  had  not 
spoken  frankly  had  one  day  fallen 
unwittingly  into  difficulties  and  mu- 


62  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

tual  misunderstandings.  Those  were 
bitter  days  for  us.  We  experienced 
all  the  storms  possible  to  such  love 
as  ours.  When  she  said  to  me  that 
in  proposing  marriage  for  me  she  had 
but  wished  to  ascertain  whether  or 
not  she  was  sufficient  for  my  happi- 
ness, when  she  announced  that  the 
moment  of  my  union  with  another 
would  be  the  moment  of  her  depart- 
ure, death  entered  into  my  soul.  Are 
we  to  understand  that  the  feeling  she 
experienced  was  simple  opposition, 
that  she  really  wished  to  put  an  ob- 
stacle in  the  way  of  my  happiness? 
Certainly  not.  It  was  the  tempest  of 
a  passionate  soul,  the  revolt  of  too 
loving  a  heart.  When  she  and  Mdlle. 
Cornelia  Scheffer  saw  each  other,  they 
conceived    an    affection    which    later 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  63 

became  very  strong  in  both.  The 
grand  and  courtly  manners  of  Mon- 
sieur Ary  Scheffer  inspired  and  ele- 
vated her.  She  realized  that  there  was 
no  place  here  for  little  trivialities  and 
petty  meanness.  She  wished  it,  but 
at  the  decisive  moment  the  woman  in 
her  rebelled;  she  had  not  the  strength 
to  proceed. 

At  last  one  day  I  was  forced  to  end 
this  cruel  anguish.  Compelled  to 
choose  between  two  affections,  I  sac- 
rificed everything  to  the  older,  to  that 
which  seemed  most  my  duty.  I  an- 
nounced to  Mdlle.  Scheffer  that  I 
could  never  see  her  again,  as  the 
affection  of  my  dear  sister  was  too 
severely  tried.  That  was  in  the  even- 
ing. I  returned  and  told  my  sister 
what  I  had  done.      She  experienced  a 


64  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

sudden  revulsion  of  feeling;  cruel  re- 
morse seized  her  for  having  hindered 
an  alliance  desired  by  me  and  highly 
appreciated  by  herself.  She  hastened 
early  the  next  morning  to  M.  Schef- 
fer's;  she  passed  long  hours  with  my 
fiancee.  They  wept  together,  and 
parted  the  warmest  of  friends.  In 
short,  after  my  marriage,  as  before, 
we  enjoyed  everything  in  common. 
It  was  her  economics  which  rendered 
our  young  menage  possible.  With- 
out her  I  should  not  have  been  able 
to  face  my  new  duties.  My  naive 
confidence  in  her  goodness  was  such 
that  the  simplicity  of  such  conduct 
did  not  appear  to  me  till  much  later. 
We  had  periods  of  happiness;  but 
often,  still,  the  cruel  and  charming 
demon  of  loving  anxiety,  of  jealousy, 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  65 

of  sudden  revolts  and  speedy  repent- 
ances, all  the  passions  of  a  woman's 
heart,  awoke  to  torture  her.  Often 
the  idea  of  separating  herself  from 
the  life  where  she  assumed,  in  her 
hour  of  bitterness,  that  she  had  be- 
come useless,  was  spoken  of  sadly; 
but  these  were  only  the  remains  of 
bad  dreams  which  faded  away,  little  by 
little.  The  delicate  tact,  the  tender 
heart  of  her  whom  I  had  given  her 
for  a  sister,  finally  triumphed.  In 
these  moments  of  melancholy,  the 
charming  intervention  of  Cornelia, 
her  natural  and  graceful  gayety, 
changed  our  tears  into  smiles;  it  ended 
in  mutual  embraces.  The  upright- 
ness of  heart  and  conscience  devel- 
oped before  me  by  those  two  women, 
in   dealing    with    the     most    delicate 


66  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

problem  of  love,  compelled  my  ad- 
miration. The  naive  hope  that  I  had 
of  seeing  another  than  myself  com- 
plete her  happiness  by  introducing 
into  her  life  the  gayety  and  activity 
that  I  had  not  known  how  to  put 
there,  found  itself  momentarily  real- 
ized. More  fortunate  than  prudent, 
I  saw  my  rashness  turned  into  wisdom 
and  I  tasted  the  fruit  of  my  temerity. 
The  birth  of  my  little  Ary  finished 
her  cure.  Her  affection  for  the  child 
amounted  to  genuine  worship.  The 
maternal  instinct  which  had  lain  dor- 
mant within  found  here  its  natural 
outlet.  Her  sweetness,  her  inex- 
haustible patience,  her  taste  for  all 
that  was  good  and  simple  inspired 
her  with  unspeakable  tenderness  for 
childhood.      It  was  a  sort  of  religious 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  67 

worship  in  which  her  melancholy  na- 
ture found  infinite  charm.  When  my 
second  child  was  born,  a  little  girl 
who  lived  only  a  few  months,  she  said 
several  times  that  this  little  one  had 
come  to  replace  her  with  me.  She 
loved  the  thought  of  death,  and  had 
a  thousand  fancies  about  it.  "You 
will  see,  dear  friends,"  she  said  to  us, 
"that  the  little  flower  we  have  lost 
will  leave  its  fragrance  with  us."  The 
image  of  this  little  dead  child  was  a 
sacred  thing  to  her  for  a  long  time. 
Thus,  mingling  in  our  joys  and  sor- 
rows with  all  the  strength  of  her  ex- 
quisite sensibility,  she  made  the  new 
life  into  which  I  had  led  her,  com- 
pletely her  own.  I  count  as  one  of 
my  greatest  blessings,  to  have  been 
able   to  realize,   by  means  of  the  two 


68  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

women  that  Fate  had  connected  with 
my  life,  an  ideal  of  abnegation  and 
pure  devotion.  They  loved  each 
other  warmly,  and  to-day  I  am  con- 
soled by  sympathy  and  grief  beside 
me,  almost  equal  to  my  own.  Each 
one  of  them  had  her  own  particular 
place  near  me,  which  she  held  un- 
shared and  exclusive.  Each  one  of 
them  was  in  her  own  way  everything 
to  me.  Some  days  before  her  death, 
when  she  felt  a  presentiment  of  her 
approaching  end,  my  sister  spoke  to 
me  in  a  way  that  showed  that  all 
wounds  were  healed,  and  that  noth- 
ing remained  of  past  bitterness. 
V. 
When  the  Emperor,  in  May,  i860, 
offered  me  a  scientific  mission  in  an- 
cient Phoenicia,   she  was   one  of  the 


MY    .-ISTER    HENRIETTA.  69 

first  to  advise  me  to  accept  it.  Her 
political  opinions  were  those  of  the 
extreme  liberals,  but  she  thought  that 
all  party  feeling  should  be  put  aside 
where  there  was  some  important  plan 
to  be  carried  out,  or  where  there  was 
any  danger  expected.  It  was  decided 
immediately  that  she  should  accom- 
pany me.  Accustomed  to  her  and  to 
her  excellent  collaboration,  I  needed 
her,  besides,  to  keep  the  accounts 
and  watch  over  expenses.  She  gave 
the  most  painstaking  attention  to  this, 
and,  thanks  to  her,  I  was  able  for  an 
entire  year  to  give  my  whole  atten- 
tion to  a  very  complicated  enterprise 
without  being  hindered  a  moment  by 
material  cares.  Her  activity  aston- 
ished everyone.  Undoubtedly,  with- 
out her  I  should  have  been  unable  to 


70  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

carry  out  the,  perhaps,  too  extensive 
program  which  I  had  marked  out  for 
myself. 

She  did  not  leave  me  for  a  moment. 
Upon  the  steepest  heights  of  Lebanon 
and  in  the  valley  of  the  Jordan  she 
followed  me,  step  by  step,  saw  all  that 
I  saw.  If  I  had  died  she  would  have 
been  able  to  give  as  good  an  account 
as  I.  She  was  never  hindered  by  the 
frightful  mountain  paths  nor  the  pri- 
vations inseparable  from  this  kind  of 
an  exploration.  A  thousand  times, 
seeing  her  on  the  edge  of  a  fearful 
precipice,  my  heart  failed  me.  She 
rode  horseback  with  remarkable  en- 
durance, traveling  eight  and  ten  hours 
a  day.  Her  health,  usually  very  del- 
icate, sustained  by  the  energy  of  her 
will,    endured    much,    but  her  whole 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  71 

nervous  system  received  a  shock 
which  betrayed  itself  by  violent  at- 
tacks of  neuralgia.  Two  or  three 
times,  in  the  midst  of  the  desert,  she 
fell  into  a  condition  which  alarmed 
us  greatly.  Her  courage  did  not  de- 
ceive us.  She  had  embraced  my  plan 
of  work  so  heartily  that  nothing  could 
separate  her  from  me  until  it  was 
finished. 

This  journey  was  for  her  the  source 
of  very  keen  enjoyment.  It  was,  to 
tell  the  truth,  almost  the  only  year 
she  had  ever  spent  without  tears,  and 
the  sole  recompense  of  her  life.  She 
was  delighted  with  everything  she 
saw.  She  abandoned  herself  to  the 
sensations  of  this  new  world  with  the 
simple  joy  of  a  child.  Nothing  can 
equal   the  charm  of  Syria  in  spring- 


72  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

time  and  autumn.  The  balmy  air 
penetrates  everything  and  seems  to 
communicate  some  of  its  freshness  to 
life  itself.  Lovely  flowers,  principally 
beautiful  cyclamens,  grow  on  each 
rocky  hillside;  in  the  plains,  on  the 
coast  of  Amrit  and  Tortosa,  the  horses' 
feet  trampled  upon  a  thick  carpet  of 
the  rarest  flowers  of  our  gardens. 
The  waters  which  flow  down  the  rug- 
ged side  of  the  mountains  form  a 
most  intoxicating  contrast. 

Our  first  stop  was  at  the  village  of 
Amschit,  three  quarters  of  a  mile 
from  Gebeil  (Byblos),  founded  twenty- 
five  or  thirty  years  ago  by  the  rich 
Maronite  Michael  Tobia.  Zakhia, 
Michael's  successor,  made  this  visit 
extremely  agreeable.  He  gave  us  a 
pretty  house    that    looked   out    over 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  73 

Byblos  and  the  sea.  The  gentle  man- 
ners of  the  inhabitants,  their  daily  at- 
tentions, the  affection  they  conceived 
for  us,  and  particularly  for  my  sister, 
touched  her  profoundly.  She  loved 
to  revisit  this  village,  and  we  made  it 
a  sort  of  center  of  action  while  we 
were  in  that  region.  The  village  of 
Sarba,  near  Djouni,  where  the  good 
honest  Khadra  family  lived,  well 
known  to  all  the  Frenchmen  who 
have  traveled  in  the  Orient,  became 
also  a  favorite  spot  with  her.  The 
delicious  baths  of  Kesrouan,  with  its 
surrounding  villages,  its  convents 
hanging  from  each  summit,  its  moun- 
tains plunging  into  the  sea,  its  pure 
waves  dashing  against  the  rocks,  de- 
lighted her.  Every  time  that  we  is- 
sued out  from  the  rocks  on  the  north, 


74  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

as  we  came  from  Gebeil,  a  hymn  of 
joy  burst  from  her  heart.  She  be- 
came greatly  attached  to  the  Mar- 
onites.  Her  visit  to  the  convent  of 
Bkerke,  where  lived  the  patriarch  in 
the  midst  of  his  diocese  of  rural  sim- 
plicity, she  always  remembered  agree- 
ably. On  the  contrary,  she  took  a 
great  dislike  to  the  petty  European 
gossip  of  Bayreuth  and  the  worthless- 
ness  of  the  towns  where  Mussulmans 
of  the  type  of  Saida  governed. 

The  grand  spectacles  which  she 
saw  at  Tyre  enchanted  her.  She  oc- 
cupied a  high  pavilion  where  she  was 
literally  swayed  by  the  tempests. 
The  nomadic  life,  in  the  long  run  so 
attractive,  became  very  dear  to  her. 
My  wife  invented  new  pretexts  every 
evening  to  dissuade  her  from  remain- 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  75 

ing  alone  in  her  tent.      She  yielded, 
though   resisting  a    little.      She    was 
very  happy  in  this  narrow,   homelike 
atmosphere,     near    those   who   loved 
her,  although  in  the  midst   of  savage 
immensity.      But  it  was  above  all  her 
trip  to  Palestine  which  filled  her  with 
enthusiasm.      Jerusalem  with  its  won- 
derful memories;  the  beautiful  valley 
of  Naplouse,  Carmel  covered  with  the 
blossoms    of     springtime,    and    more 
than  all  Galilee,   though  devastated, 
still    an    earthly  paradise,  where  the 
Divine  breath  is  still  felt,  kept  her  for 
six  weeks  under  a  charm.     We  had 
already  made  several  excursions  of  six 
and  eight  days  to  Tyre  and   Oum-el- 
awamid,    those     ancient    grounds    of 
Aser  and  Nephtali,   which   have  wit- 
nessed such  wonderful  deeds.     When 


76  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

I  showed  her  Kasyoum  for  the    first 
time,   above  Lake  Huleh,  the  whole 
region  of  the  upper  Jordan,  and,  in  the 
distance,  Lake  Gennesaret,  the  cradle 
of  Christianity,   she  thanked  me   and 
told  me  I  had  given  her  the  greatest 
treat  of  her  life  in  showing  her  these 
places.      Superior  to  that  narrow  sen- 
timent which  attaches  historical    leg- 
ends  to  material  objects,    nearly   al- 
ways   apocryphal,     or    to    particular 
localities    which    often    have    not     a 
single     claim      to      veneration,     she 
sought  the  soul,  the  idea,  the  general 
impression.      Our   long    journeys    in 
this  beautiful  country,  always  in  view 
of     Hermon,     whose     ravines     were 
marked    in    sunny    lines    against    the 
azure  sky,  have  remained  in  our  mem- 
ory as  a  vision  of  another  world. 


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M\     SISTER    HENRIETTA.  77 

In  the  mouth  of  July,  my  wife,  who 
had  been  with  us  since  January,  was 
obliged  to  leave  us  for  other  duties. 
The  excavations  were  finished  and  the 
fleet  had  left  Syria.  We  remained 
alone  together  to  watch  the  removal 
of  the  excavated  objects,  to  finish  the 
exploration  of  the  heights  of  Lebanon 
and  prepare  for  a  last  campaign  into 
Cyprus,  the  following  autumn.  I  re- 
gret now,  with  the  most  bitter  tears, 
the  part  that  I  took  in  thus  prolong- 
ing our  stay  during  the  months  which 
are  the  most  dangerous  to  the  Euro- 
pean in  Syria.  Our  last  trip  to  Leb- 
anon fatigued  her  greatly.  We  stayed 
three  days  at  Maschuaka,  near  the 
Adonis  river,  lodged  in  a  mudhouse. 
The  constant  change  from  cold  val- 
leys to  hot  mountains,  the  poor  food, 


78  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

the  necessity  of  spending   the  nights 
in  low  huts  where,  not  to  stifle,  every- 
thing must  be  left  open,  gave  her  the 
germ  of  a  nervous  disease  which  soon 
developed.      Coming  out  of  the  deep 
valley    of    Tannourin,     after    having 
slept  in   the    convent   of    Mar-akout, 
upon  one  of  the  highest  points  of  this 
locality,  we  entered  into  the  burning 
region  of  Toula.     This  sudden  change 
prostrated  us.     About  eleven  o'clock, 
in  the  village   of  Helta,    she  began  to 
suffer  keenly.      I   made  her  lie  down 
in  the  humble  house  of  the  cure;  then, 
while  I  went  to  gather  up  the  inscrip- 
tions, she  tried  to  sleep  in  the  oratory. 
But  the  women  of   the  country  would 
not  let  her  rest;  they  came  in  to  look 
at  her  and  to  touch  her.     At    last  we 
reached    Toula.     There   she    passed 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  79 

two  days  of  horrible  suffering.  We 
were  without  any  assistance.  The 
extreme  simplicity  of  the  inhabitants 
added  to  her  sufferings.  Never  hav- 
ing seen  a  European,  they  invaded 
the  house,  and  while  I  was  out  in  my 
explorations,  they  tormented  her  un- 
endurably.  As  soon  as  she  could  ride 
on  horseback  we  went  to  Amschit, 
where  she  obtained  some  relief.  But 
her  left  eye  was  affected;  the  sight  of 
this  eye  was  weakened,  and  at  times 
she  suffered  from  diplopia. 

The  horrible  heat  of  that  coast  and 
our  state  of  great  fatigue  decided  me 
to  fix  our  residence  at  Ghazir,  a  point 
situated  at  a  great  elevation  above 
the  sea,  near  the  bath  of  Kesrouan. 
We  took  leave  of  the  good  people  of 
Amschit  and  G6beil.     The    sun  was 


80  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

setting  when  we  arrived  at  the  mouth 
of  the  Adonis  river;  we  rested  there. 
Although  she  was  far  from  well, 
the  entrancing  calm  of  this  beautiful 
spot  took  possession  of  her;  she  had  a 
moment  of  mild  gayety.  We  climbed 
the  Ghazir  mountain  by  the  light  of 
the  moon;  she  was  very  happy,  and 
we  thought,  as  we  left  the  burning 
river  behind  us,  that  we  were  leaving 
also  the  suffering  we  had  found  there. 
Ghazir  is  without  exception  one  of 
the  most  beautiful  spots  in  the  world. 
The  surrounding  valleys  are  covered 
with  the  loveliest  verdure,  and  the 
hill  of  Oramoun  that  towers  above  it 
is  the  most  charming  place  in  all 
Lebanon;  but  the  population,  spoiled 
by  intercourse  with  the  pretended 
aristocracy  of  the    country,  does  not 


X 


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c 

X 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  8 1 

possess  the  good  qualities  of  the  ordin- 
ary Maronite  people.  We  found  a  lit- 
tle house  with  a  pretty  arbor,  and 
there  we  spent  several  days  quietly 
resting. 

We  had  the  cool  snow  water  that 
flowed  down  the  crevasses  on  the 
mountain  side.  Our  poor  traveling 
companions,  her  noble  Arabian  mare, 
and  my  old  mule,  Saida,  pastured 
under  our  eyes.  For  the  first  fifteen 
days  she  suffered  a  great  deal;  then 
her  pain  abated  and  God  allowed  her 
to  pass  a  few  happy  hours  before  she 
left  this  earth. 

The  memory  of  these  days  is  inex- 
pressibly dear  to  me.  The  tedious 
difficulties  inseparable  from  our  work 
were  over,  and  we  had  much  leisure. 
I  resolved  to  write  out  all  the  thoughts 


82  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

upon  the  Life  of  Jesus  that  had  been 
slowly  gathering  in  my  mind  during 
our  stay  in  the  countries  of  Tyre  and 
Palestine. 

When  I  read  the  gospels  in  Galilee, 
the  personality  of  this  great  Founder 
came  clearly  before  me.  In  the  heart 
of  the  profoundest  repose  possible  to 
be  imagined,  I  wrote,  with  the  help  of 
the  Gospels  and  Josephus,  a  life  of 
Jesus  which  at  Ghazir  I  carried  to  the 
time  of  his  trip  to  Jerusalem;  delight- 
ful, too  soon  vanished  hours.  Oh! 
may  eternity  be  like  you!  From 
morning  till  night  I  was  fairly  intox- 
icated with  the  thoughts  that  rose 
within  me.  They  were  with  me  in 
my  sleeping  hours,  and  when  the  first 
rays  of  the  sun  appeared  over  the  tops 
of  the  mountains  they  became  clearer, 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  83 

more  distinct  than  ever.  Henrietta 
was  more  confident  each  day  of  the 
success  of  my  work.  As  soon  as  I  wrote 
a  page  she  copied  it.  "This  book," 
she  said  "  I  shall  love:  at  first  be- 
cause we  have  written  it  together  and 
then  because  it  pleases  me."  Her 
mind  had  never  been  clearer.  In  the 
evening  we  walked  together  on  the 
terrace,  in  the  starlight,  while  she 
talked  with  much  feeling  and  depth, 
conversations  that  were  like  revela- 
tions to  me.  Her  joy  seemed  full,  and 
these  were  no  doubt  the  happiest 
moments  of  her  life.  Our  intellectual 
and  moral  communion  was  now  more 
complete  than  ever  before.  She  told 
me  several  times  that  these  days  were 
her  paradise.  There  was  a  feeling  of 
sadness    mingled    with    it  all.       Her 


84  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

malady  was  only  dormant  and  awoke 
occasionally  to  remind  her  of  its  fatal 
existence.  She  pitied  herself  then 
because  fate  was  relentless  to  her  and 
grudged  her  even  a  few  hours  of  hap- 
iness,  the  first  she  had  ever  known. 

In  the  first  part  of  September,  my 
stay  at  Ghazir  was  very  incon- 
venient, because  my  presence  was  de- 
manded at  Bayreuth.  We  bade  fare- 
well, not  without  tears,  to  our  little 
house  at  Ghazir  and  traversed  for  the 
last  time  that  charming  route  along 
the  banks  of  the  Chien  river,  that  for 
the  last  year  had  been  so  familiar  to 
us.  Although  the  heat  was  great,  we 
passed  some  pleasant  hours  at  Bay- 
reuth. The  days  were  oppressive  but 
the  nights  were  delightful,  and  every 
evening  the  view  of  Sannin,  gilded  by 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  85 

the  rays  of  the  setting  sun  in  the 
Olympian  air,  was  a  feast  to  the  eye. 
The  arrangements  for  transportation 
were  nearly  completed,  only  the  trip 
to  Cyprus  remained.  We  began  to 
speak  of  returning.  We  dreamed  al- 
ready of  the  pale  sunlight,  the 
damp,  fresh  autumn  breeze  on  the 
banks  of  the  Oise,  where  we  had  been 
two  years  ago  at  this  time.  She 
longed  once  more  to  embrace  little 
Ary  and  our  old  mother.  She  had 
moments  of  melancholy  retrospection 
when  recollections  of  our  father  came 
to  her.  She  spoke  of  his  noble,  good 
heart,  so  full  of  tenderness.  I  never 
saw  her  more  exalted,  more  attractive. 
Sunday,  September  15,  Admiral  Le 
Barbierde  Tirian  sent  me  word  that 
the  Caton  would  devote  eight  days  to 


86  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

new  efforts  for  the  excavation  of  two 
great  sarcophagi,  at  Gebeil,  whose 
disenterment  had  at  first  been  deemed 
impossible.  My  presence  at  Gebeil 
was  not  necessary;  it  would  have 
been  sufficient  for  me  to  go  on  board 
the  Caton,  give  the  necessary  direc- 
tions and  return  to  Bayreuth  by 
land.  But  I  knew  these  separations 
were  painful  to  her.  So,  as  she  liked 
to  visit  Amschit  so  well,  I  formed 
another  plan  for  both  of  us  to  go  to 
Amschit  on  the  Caton,  spend  the 
eight  days  there,  and  return  in  the 
same  way.  We  started  on  Monday. 
She  had  not  been  well  since  the  day 
before,  but  the  trip  seemed  to  benefit 
her.  She  enjoyed  the  view  of  Leb- 
anon in  the  splendor  of  its  summer 
dress;  and  when  I  went  with  the  com- 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  87 

manderto  give  directions   concerning 
the  sarcophagus,  she  rested  quietly  on 
board.     In  the  evening,   after  sunset, 
we    went    to    Amschit.      Our    good 
friends  there,  who  never  expected  to 
see  us  again,  welcomed  us  with  open 
arms.      She  was   very  happy.     After 
dinner  we  passed  a  part  of    the  night 
on    the  terrace  in    front  of    Zakhia's 
house.      The  heavens  were  beautiful. 
I  recalled  that  passage  in  the  book  of 
Job  where  the  old  patriarch  boasts  as 
of  some  rare  merit,  that  he  had  never 
put  his  hand  over  his  mouth  in  sign  of 
worship,  when  ho  beheld  the  stars  in 
their  splendor  and   the  moon   as  she 
moved  majestically  through  the  heav- 
ens.     All    the  ancient  faiths  of  Syria 
seemed  to  rise  up  before  us.      Byblos 
was  at  our  feet;  to  the  south  in  sacred 


88  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

Lebanon,  the  strange,  sharp  peaks  of 
the  rocks  and  forests  of  Dj6bel- 
Mousa,  where  legend  places  the  death 
of  Adonis,  stood  out  before  us.  At 
the  north,  toward  Byblos,  the  sea 
seemed  to  curve  around  and  lie  on 
two  sides  of  us.  That  was  the  last 
really  happy  day  of  my  life.  Hence- 
forth all  joy  carried  me  into  the  past 
and  recalled  that  which  no  longer  ex- 
isted for  me.  Tuesday  she  was  not  so 
well.  Still  I  felt  no  anxiety;  this  in- 
disposition did  not  seem  nearly  as 
serious  as  others  she  had  endured.  I 
went  to  work  again,  enthusiastically, 
upon  my  Life  of  Jesus.  We  worked 
together  all  day  and  the  evening  was 
spent  gaily  on  the  terrace.  On 
Wednesday  she  grew  worse.  I  begged 
the    surgeon  on  the    Caton  to    come 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  89 

and  see  her.  Thursday  she  was  in 
the  same  condition.  But,  sad  to  re- 
late, I  was  stricken  in  my  turn.  I  had 
reached  the  end  of  my  work  without 
any  serious  illness.  By  a  fatality, 
whose  remembrance  pursues  me  like 
some  frightful  nightmare,  the  only 
moment  in  which  I  lost  conscious- 
ness was  that  in  which  I  should  have 
watched  over  her  death  bed. 

I  was  obliged  on  Thursday  morn- 
ing to  go  down  the  road  to  G6beil  to 
confer  with  the  commander.  When 
I  started  up  the  hill  to  Amschit  I  felt 
overcome  by  the  sun,  whose  fiery  rays 
were  reflected  from  the  rocks  on  the 
hillside.  That  afternoon  I  had  a  vio- 
lent attack  of  fever,  accompanied  with 
severe  neuralgic  pains.  It  was,  in 
fact,  a  mild  type  of  the  same  disease 


go  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

that  killed  my  poor  sister.  The  physi- 
cian on  the  Caion,  skillful  as  he  was, 
did  not  recognize  it.  These  deadly 
fevers  have  in  Syria  certain  symp- 
toms that  only  native  doctors  are  able 
to  recognize.  Large  doses  of  sulphate 
of  quinine  might,  perhaps,  have  saved 
us  both.  That  evening  I  felt  my 
mind  wandering.  I  told  the  doctor 
of  this  symptom,  but  he,  completely 
blinded  as  to  the  nature  of  our  malady, 
left  us.  I  had  then  a  frightful  feel- 
ing of  apprehension,  that  three  days 
afterward  became  a  terrible  realit}'. 
I  foresaw  with  a  chill  of  horror  the 
dangers  that  we  ran  if  we  fell  ill  there 
alone,  lost  consciousness  in  the  hands 
of  people,  good  but  ignorant  of  all 
medical  knowledge,  and  full  of  the 
wildest  ideas  on  the  subject.      I  said 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  91 

good-bye  to  life  with  the  greatest 
grief.  The  loss  of  my  papers,  par- 
ticularly my  Life  of  Jesus,  seemed 
certain  to  me.  We  passed  a  dread- 
ful night;  it  seemed  at  that  time, 
though,  that  my  sister's  condition  was 
not  as  bad  as  my  own,  for  I  remem- 
ber she  said  the  next  morning,  "You 
groaned  all  night  long." 

Friday,  Saturday  and  Sunday  pass 
before  me  like  the  portions  of  a  pain- 
ful dream.  The  sudden  attack  that 
just  failed  to  prove  fatal  to  me  on 
Thursday,  had  a  kind  of  retro-active 
effect,  and  entirely  effaced  all  memory 
of  the  three  preceding  days.  A  sad 
fatality  ordained  that  the  physician 
should  see  us  in  these  moments  of 
comparative  ease,  and  so  not  be  at  all 
prepared   for  the  approaching  crisis. 


92  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

I  was    still  at  work,  but  I  felt    as  if 
I  were  working  badly.      I  was    then 
in  the  midst  of  the   Lord's   Passion, 
the  story  of  the  Last  Supper.      Later, 
as  I  re-read  the  words  I  had  written, 
I     found    them    strangely    troubled. 
My    thoughts    seemed    to  flow  in  an 
endless    circle,   to    revolve  aimlessly, 
like    the    broken  wheels  of    some  in- 
strument.     Other  little  circumstances 
remain    in  my  memory.      I   wrote  to 
the  Sisters  of  Charity  at  Bayreuth  to 
ask  for  some  wine  of    quinquina,  that 
they  alone  know  how  to  make  in  all 
Syria;  but  I  felt  the  incoherence  of  my 
letter,  myself.    It  seemed  that  neither 
of  us  appreciated  the  severity  of    our 
illness.      I  decided  to  go  to  France  on 
the  following  Thursday.      "  Yes,  yes, 
we    will  go,"    she    said,   confidently. 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  93 

"Oh!  unfortunate  that  I  am,"  she 
said,  at  another  time.  "  I  see  I  am 
destined  to  surfer  a  great  deal."  On 
one  of  these  two  days  she  was  able  to 
go  from  one  room  to  the  other,  about 
sunset.  She  lay  down  on  the  sofa  in 
the  salon  where  I  slept  and  worked  as 
usual.  The  blinds  were  open,  our 
eyes  looked  out  toward  Djebel-Mousa. 
She  had  a  presentiment  then  of  her 
approaching  end,  but  did  not  think  it 
so  near.  Her  eyes  were  dissolved  in 
tears;  her  face  drawn  with  suffering, 
regained  a  little  color,  and  she  glanced 
back  sadly,  sweetly,  over  her  past  life. 
"  I  will  make  my  will,"  she  said. 
'■  You  shall  be  my  heir;  I  shall  leave 
very  little,  but  still  it  is  something. 
I  want  you  to  build  a  burial  vault 
with  my  savings;  it  will  seem  to  bring 


94  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

us  together,  to  be  near  each  other. 
Little  Ernestine  must  be  with  us." 
Then  she  calculated  mentally,  laid 
out  with  her  finger  the  inner  arrange- 
ment of  this  tomb,  and  seemed  to 
want  places  for  a  dozen  people.  She 
spoke  to  me  with  sobs  of  my  little 
Ary,  of  our  old  mother.  She  told 
me  what  I  should  give  her  niece. 
She  tried  to  find  something  that  would 
please  Cornelia,  and  she  thought  of  a 
little  Italian  book  (the  Frosetti  of 
St.  Francis)  that  M.  Berthelol  had 
given  her.  "I  have  loved  you  very 
much,"  she  said,  finally.  "Some- 
times my  affection  has  caused  you 
pain.  I  have  been  unjust,  jealous; 
but  it  has  been  because  I  have  loved 
you  as  one  seldom  is,  perhaps  as  one 
should  not  be,  loved." 


MY    SIS  I  IK    HENRIETTA.  95 

I  burst  into  tears.  I  spoke  of  little 
Ary,  knowing  that  it  would  touch  her. 
She  was  interested  and  touched  by 
these  words.  She  recalled  again  the 
memory  of  our  father.  These  were 
our  last  lucid  moments.  We  were  in 
the  interval  between  two  attacks  of 
the  deadly  fever.  The  final  attack 
was  only  a  few  hours  away.  Except 
for  the  moments  the  doctor  was  there, 
we  were  alone  with  only  our  Arabian 
servants  and  the  natives  from  the  vil- 
lage; everyone  else  at  the  mission  was 
absent  or  occupied.  I  remember  but 
little  distinctly  of  that  fatal  Sunday, 
or,  rather,  others  have  recalled  almost 
forgotten  incidents  to  me.  I  contin- 
to  work  all  day,  but  like  an  autom- 
aton, which  acts  mechanically.  I  re- 
member  exactly   how    1    felt   when    I 


96  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

saw  the  peasants  going  to  mass. 
Generally,  when  they  knew  we  were 
there,  they  came  to  us  at  that  hour 
for  a  little  _/>/<?.  The  doctor  came  in 
the  morning.  We  decided  that  the 
next  day  before  dawn  they  should 
send  some  sailors  from  the  Caton 
with  a  litter  to  carry  my  sister,  and 
that  we  should  be  taken  at  once  to 
Bayreuth.  Toward  noon  I  must  have 
been  still  working  in  my  dear  one's 
room,  for  they  told  me  they  found 
my  books  and  notes  scattered  there 
over  the  matting,  where  I  was  accus- 
tomed to  sit.  In  the  afternoon  my 
sister  became  much  worse.  I  wrote 
to  the  doctor  to  come  immediately, 
telling  him  the  worst  fears  of  my 
heart.  I  remember  nothing  of  this 
letter,  and  when  they  mentioned  it  to 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  97 

me,  several  days  after,  it  awoke  no 
memory  within  me.  I  was  still  con- 
scious, however,  for  Antoine,  the 
servant,  told  me  I  helped  carry  my 
sister  into  the  salon  that  had  been 
my  chamber,  and  that  I  had  sat  by 
her  a  long  time.  Perhaps,  at  that 
time,  we  said  our  eternal  farewells, 
and  she  addressed  sacred  words  to 
me,  which  the  terrible  sponge,  the 
disease,  passed  over  my  brain — effaced 
forever.  Antoine  assured  me  that  she 
did  not  have  a  single  moment  of  con- 
sciousness of  her  death,  but  he  was 
not  intelligent,  and  knew  so  little 
French  that  he  may  not  have  known 
what  we  said  to  each  other. 

The  physician  came  about  six 
o'clock,  accompanied  by  the  com- 
mander.     Both    thought   it  would   be 


g8  MV    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

impossible  to  take  my  sister  to  Bay- 
reuth  the  next  day.  By  a  strange 
coincidence  I  was  stricken  while  they 
were  there;  I  lost  consciousness  in 
the  commander's  arms.  These  two 
people,  full  of  judgment  and  discre- 
tion, but  until  then  deceived  as  to  the 
gravity  of  our  condition,  took  counsel 
together.  The  doctor,  owning  frankly 
that  he  felt  himself  incapable  of  cop- 
ing with  the  disease,  whose  symptoms 
had  escaped  him,  asked  the  com- 
mander to  send  to  Bayreuth  for  more 
help,  as  soon  as  possible.  The  ad- 
miral did  so.  On  account  of  the 
Turkish  formalities  which,  with  sail- 
ors of  other  countries  have  no 
weight,  they  did  not  get  off  till  four 
o'clock  Monday  morning.  They  ar- 
rived at  Bayreuth  at  six  o'clock,  and 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  99 

saw  Admiral  Paris,  who,  with  the  rare 
courtesy  peculiar  to  him,  ordered 
them  to  return  at  once,  taking  with 
them  Dr.  Lovell,  chief  surgeon  on 
board  the  Alzesiras,  and  Dr.  Suquet, 
the  French  sanitary  physician  at 
Bayreuth,  whom  everyone  recognizes 
as  one  of  the  greatest  authorities  on 
Syrian  diseases. 

At  half-past  ten,  all  these  gentlemen 
were  at  Amschit,  and  about  the  same 
time  Dr.  Gaillardot  arrived  overland. 
Since  the  evening  before,  we  had  both 
lain  unconscious,  facing  each  other  in 
Zakhia's  great  salon,  cared  for  by 
Antoine  alone.  The  good  Zakhia 
family  was  sitting  around,  weeping, 
defending  us  against  the  half  crazy 
curtf  who  made  pretentions  to  medi- 
cine.     They  assured  me  that  my  sis- 


IOO  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

ter  had  made  no  sign  of  consciousness 
in  all  that  time.  Dr.  Suquet,  who 
naturally  took  charge  of  affairs,  real- 
ized, alas!  very  soon,  that  it  was  too 
late  to  do  anything  for  her;  all  at- 
tempts to  bring  on  a  reaction  were  in 
vain.  The  large  doses  of  sulphate  of 
quinine,  which  is  the  great  remedy  in 
crises  of  this  sort,  could  not  be  ab- 
sorbed. Would  it  have  been  possible 
that,  if  she  had  had  this  care  some 
hours  earlier,  she  might  have  been 
saved?  One  cruel  thought  at  least 
will  always  pursue  me.  If  we  had 
remained  at  Bayreuth,  the  crisis  might 
not  have  been  avoided,  but  in  all 
probability,  if  Dr.  Suquet  had  been 
called  in  time,  he  might  have  con- 
quered it. 

All  day  Monday  my  noble,   tender 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  IOI 

sister  lay  dying.  She  expired  on 
Tuesday,  September  24th,  at  three 
o'clock  in  the  morning.  The  Maro- 
nite  cure',  called  in  at  the  last  moment, 
administered  the  sacrament.  Sin- 
cere tears  were  shed  over  her 
body;  but  O,  God!  who  could  have 
thought  that  one  day  my  sister  Hen- 
rietta would  have  died  two  feet  away 
from  me  and  that  I  should  not  have 
been  able  to  receive  her  last  sigh! 
Yes,  but  for  that  fatal  swoon  which 
seized  me  Sunday  evening.  I  believe 
that  my  kisses,  the  sound  of  my  voice 
would  have  held  her  departing  spirit 
for  at  least  some  hours,  perhaps  till 
help  could  have  reached  her.  I  can- 
not persuade  myself  that  her  loss  of 
consciousness  was  so  deep  that  I 
could  not  have  overcome  it.      Two  or 


102  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

three  times  in  a  delirium  of  fever  I 
had  a  horrible  suspicion.  I  thought 
I  heard  her  call  me  from  the  tomb 
where  she  was  laid.  The  presence  of 
the  French  doctors  at  the  time  of  her 
death  do  away  with  this  terrible  doubt, 
but  that  she  should  have  been  cared 
for  by  others,  that  servile  hands 
should  have  touched  her,  that  I  had 
not  conducted  her  funeral,  and  at- 
tested by  my  tears  that  this  was  my 
beloved  sister;  that  she  should  not 
have  seen  my  face,  if  for  the  one  mo- 
ment her  eye  gazed  with  the  light  of 
reason  upon  the  world  that  she  was 
leaving;  this  is  the  thought  that 
weighs  eternally  upon  me,  and  em- 
bitters all  my  joy.  If  she  knew  she 
was  dying  without  me  near  her,  if  she 
knew  that  I  lay  stretched  in  agony  by 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  103 

her  side,  and  that  she  could  not  care 
for  me.  O,  this  heavenly  creature 
must  have  died  with  the  agonies  of 
the  lost  in  her  heart.  The  states  of 
unconsciousness  vary  so  in  outward 
appearance  that  I  have  never  been 
able  to  relieve  myself  of  this  doubt. 
Less  exhausted  than  my  sister,  I 
was  able  to  take  the  enormous  dose 
of  quinine  which  they  gave  me.  I 
showed  some  signs  of  life  on  Tuesday 
morning,  an  hour  or  so  before  my 
sister  expired.  What  proves  to  my 
mind  that  during  Sunday  and  even 
during  my  delirium  I  was  better  aware 
of  what  was  passing  around  me  than 
my  memory  now  recalls,  is  the  fact 
that  the  first  question  I  asked  was 
about  my  sister.  "She  is  very  ill," 
they  replied.    I  repeated,  in  my  partial 


104  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

delirium,  the  same  question  inces- 
santly. "She  is  dead,"  they  said  at 
last;  it  was  useless  to  try  and  deceivo 
me,  for  they  were  getting  ready  to 
take  me  to  Bayreuth.  I  begged  that 
they  would  let  me  see  her;  they  refused 
me  absolutely;  they  carried  me  away 
on  the  same  litter  they  had  brought 
up  for  her.  I  was  completely 
stunned;  the  frightful  misfortune 
which  had  overtaken  me  seemed  like 
some  horrible  hallucination.  Burn- 
ing thirst  devoured  me.  In  my  dreams 
I  went  with  her  to  Aphaca  at  the 
source  of  the  river  Adonis,  under  the 
gigantic  walnut  trees  which  are  below 
the  cascade.  She  was  seated  near 
me  upon  the  fresh  grass.  I  carried  a 
cupful  of  icy  water  to  her  dying  lips; 
we  both  plunged  into  the  cool   foun- 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  105 

tain  and  wept  tears  of  tender  melan- 
choly. Not  until  two  days  afterward 
did  I  regain  my  senses  entirely,  and 
my  misfortune  rose  before  me  in  all 
its  frightful  reality. 

Dr.  Gaillardot  remained  at  Amschit 
to  watch  over  the  funeral  of  my  poor 
sister.  The  whole  population  of  the 
village,  who  were  greatly  attached  to 
her,  followed  her  coffin.  All  facilities 
for  embalming  were  wanting,  so  they 
were  obliged  to  decide  upon  a  tempor- 
ary resting  place.  Zakhia  offered  ihe 
tomb  of  Michael  Tobia,  situated  at  the 
extremity  of  the  village,  near  a  pretty 
chapel,  under  the  shade  of  beautiful 
palms.  He  only  asked  that  when 
they  carried  her  awa)',  an  inscription 
should  be  placed  there  that  a  French 
woman  had  been  buried  in  that  place. 


106  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

She  is  still  there.  I  hesitate  to  take 
her  away  from  those  beautiful  moun- 
tains where  she  passed  such  happy 
moments  in  the  midst  of  the  good 
people  she  loved  to  lay  her  in  one  of 
our  gloomy  cemeteries  which  always 
filled  her  with  horror.  One  day  I 
wish  her  to  be  laid  near  me;  but  who 
can  tell  in  what  corner  of  the  earth  he 
will  repose!  So  she  still  waits  forme 
under  the  palm  trees  of  Amschit,  in  the 
land  of  ancient  mystery  near  the 
sainted  Byblos. 

We  are  ignorant  of  the  relations  of 
great  souls  to  the  Infinite;  but  if,  as 
nearly  all  believe,  the  spirit  is  but  a 
transitory  inhabitant  of  the  universe, 
that  which  connects  us  more  or  less 
with  the  bosom  of  God,  is  it  not  for 
such  souls  as  this  that  immortality  is 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  107 

made?  If  man  has  the  power  to 
mould,  after  a  divine  model  which  he 
has  not  chosen,  a  great  moral  person- 
ality, made  up  in  equal  parts  of  him- 
self and  the  ideal,  that  which  lives  in 
reality  is  assuredly  the  spirit.  It  is 
not  matter  which  exists,  since  that  is 
not  a  whole;  it  is  not  the  atom,  since 
that  is  lifeless.  It  is  the  spirit  which 
is,  when  it  has  left  some  trace  on  the 
eternal  history  of  the  true  and  good. 
Who  accomplished  this  high  destiny 
more  nearly  than  my  dear  one  ?  Taken 
away  at  the  moment  when  her  nature 
had  reached  its  fullest  maturity,  she 
was  never  more  perfect.  She  had 
attained  the  summit  of  a  virtuous  life; 
her  views  on  life  could  not  have  been 
broader;  her  measure  of  devotion  and 
tenderness  was  full. 


108  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

Ah!  Undoubtedly  she  should  have 
been  much  happier  than  she  was.  I 
dream  of  little  sweet  rewards  for 
her,  I  conceive  a  thousand  fancies 
that  would  have  pleased  her.  I  see 
her  old,  respected  as  a  mother,  proud 
of  me,  resting  at  last  in  unmixed 
peace.  I  wish  that  this  good,  noble 
heart  which  always  bled  with  tender- 
ness, could  have  known  some  kind  of 
calm,  some  selfish  return,  *  I  am 
tempted  to  say.  But  God  willed  that 
she  should  tread  only  steep  and  rug- 
ged paths.  She  died  almost  without 
reward.  The  hour  when  she  should 
reap  what  she  had  sown,  when  she 
should  seat  herself  in  the  cool  of 
the  day  to  think  over  past  sorrows 
and  trials,  never  sounded  for  her. 

Truly  she  never  thought  of   recom- 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  IOg 

pense.  That  selfishness  which  often 
spoils  devotion  inspired  by  positive 
religions,  leading  one  to  believe  that 
he  should  practice  virtue  for  the  gain 
he  draws  from  it,  never  entered  into 
her  great  soul.  When  she  lost  her 
religious  faith,  her  faith  in  duty  did 
not  diminish,  because  it  was  the  echo 
of  her  inner  nobility.  Virtue  with 
her  was  not  the  result  of  a  theory, 
but  of  her  nature.  She  did  good  for 
the  sake  of  the  good  and  not  for  her 
own  safety.  She  loved  the  true  and 
beautiful,  without  that  selfish  calcula- 
tion which  seems  to  say  to  God, 
"  Were  it  not  for  Thy  hell  or  Thy 
heaven  I  would  not  love  Thee." 

But  God  will  not  suffer  his  saints 
to  see  corruption.  Oh,  heart  where 
burned  incessantly  the  pure  flame  of 


IIO  MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA. 

love!  Brain,  the  seat  of  the  purest 
thoughts !  Charming  eyes  where  good- 
ness always  glowed;  slender,  delicate 
hand  that  I  have  so  often  held  in 
mine,  I  shudder  when  I  think  you  are 
but  dust  But  all  here  is  only  symbol 
and  imagery.  The  truly  eternal  part 
of  each  is  his  relation  to  Infinity.  It 
is  in  the  memory  of  God  that  man  is 
immortal.  It  is  there  that  our  Hen- 
rietta, never  more  radiant,  nevermore 
spotless,  lives  a  thousand  times  more 
really  than  when  here  below  she 
struggled  in  spite  of  her  physical 
feebleness  to  create  a  spiritual  life, 
and  when,  cast  into  the  midst  of  a 
world,  she  sought  perfection  patiently. 
May  her  memory  remain  with  us  as  a 
precious  argument  for  those  eternal 
truths  that  each  virtuous  life  helps  to 


MY    SISTER    HENRIETTA.  Ill 

demonstrate.  I  have  never  doubted 
a  moral  order  of  things,  but  I  see 
now,  beyond  a  doubt,  that  the  whole 
system  would  be  overthrown  if  such 
lives  as  hers  were  only  illusion  and 
deception. 

FINIS. 


This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last 
date  stamped  below. 


REMINGTON  RAND  INC.  20       213 

UNIVERSITY  u?   viii.ii v*JX1A 

LOS  ANQET.ES 


CT 


